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This is a self-paced tutorial on Assertive Communication
In this tutorial, the following content will be covered:-
At the end of this tutorial, you should be able to understand the philosophy of assertiveness, know the importance of assertive communication, its rights and
learn some assertive communication skills.
Assertive Communication is the ability to express positive and negative feelings in an open, honest and direct manner. It recognize our own rights while respect the rights of others.
Assertive communication is communicating in a way that assure a win-win approach for two parties. It is a healthy style of communicating and it is a learned skill.
Now watch these 2 videos:-
1) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6LcPfnwGec
2) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zbt_9R8GrM
Exercise 1
Write 3 words that describe your style.
|
Passive |
Assertive |
Aggressive |
Style |
Not expressing needsSelf-devaluingWaiting to be led |
Honest, Open, DirectRecognises own rightsListens to others’ needs |
Domineering, insistingWin/LoseNot listening |
Non-verbalbehaviour |
Small postureQuiet, hesitant voiceLittle eye contact |
Upright, balanced poseFirm clear voiceSteady eye contact |
InterruptingLoudStaring, pointing |
Language |
Sorry to bother you…I cant seem to…Its only my opinion… |
I believe/need/I’d like toNo(when appropriate)Open questions |
That wont workYou cant be seriousYour problem/fault |
Exercise 2
Identify the behaviour exhibited (passive, assertive or aggressive) below:-
1)Someone jumps the queue in the supermarket saying, "I hope you dont mind, I'm rushing for a bus".
No, it's all right(even though you are also in a hurry).
2)You are going out with some friends. As you are leaving, your mother says, "Be sure to get home in time or you'll be in trouble."
3)A friend promised to call for you and bring you along to the local sports club and introduce you to some people there.S/he went without you and you phone and say -
I am disappointed and hurt that you went without me. What happened?
Assertive Pie:
It is found that in general, the following is the contribution of each component towards assertive communication.
25% - speech
25% - posture
25% - eye contact
25% - tone of voice
Why is assertive communication important?
Job interviewers often ask assertive behavior questions to check level of assertive behavior in a candidate's past employment, such as:-
Exercise 3
Write down 3 reasons that you may have which is impeding you from being assertive.
Everyone has the following rights:-
Working in a Team
The following are some basic Assertive Skills that you will learn in this journey:-
Saying "NO"
You don’t drink and have said “No” but your friends are determined to persuade you. It’s getting really boring and annoying.
Think of how would you say “No”.
DESC
Describe the problem
Eg. Monica, I have not received the part of research our team supposed to gather…..It was due yesterday. The Director has called twice already.
Express the feeling
Eg. This situation really puts our team in a bad light. It’s important we get that plan together….
Specify how the problem is solved
Eg. Is there something I or other team member can help you finish the research by end of today. …
Consequences
Eg. If you can’t complete today, I will have to tell the director what has been holding things up. None of us want that to happen…
Negative Assertion
Negative Inquiry
Exercise 4
Provide an example of Negative Inquiry.
Fogging
I-statements
Exercise 5
Fill in the missing part for the conversation below:-
Broken Record
In summary,
Name | Comments | Date |
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